Burger Pickin' / Lenny's Burger

Another burger review, Maria? Yes! I am the burger queen! Even though, truly, after I eat a nice juicy piece of medium cooked meat plus french fries my body feels as though it is not long for this world... Like all that fat, grease, and salt is slowly congealing somewhere in my system, just waiting to take me out while I innocently climb a flight of stairs.

Anyway. Lenny's Burger. What a place!

I think there are a few of these in and around the Phoenix area. We visit one in a strip mall, tucked in between Smoothie King and a Chinese restaurant. I've been longing to visit this joint for a while, mostly because from the outside it looks like classic rock is blasting out of some boombox in the kitchen, the walls are all shiny, and I imagine groups of kinda bad school children hang out there for hours, plotting. (Honestly, I'm sort of imagining this, but with more high schoolers and less murder).

We show up an hour before they close, hungry and kind of excited. Our plan is to eat dinner here and then go home and watch a Christmas movie, to get in the spirit of December. Lenny's seems to be on board with this plan; tiny speakers in the ceiling play Rat Pack classics all night long. No classic rock today! There was, however, a group of people (of varying ages, but a few of them could have been in high school!) posted up in a corner of the restaurant.

At this point, I'm metaphorically rubbing my hands together, pumped that everything is going well. This place is also super photogenic; it's all shiny walls and neon signs, checkerboard floor and bright red cushions.

We order our food, and before I can say wow, the floor in that corner over there is naaaasty, our food arrives and we're diggin' in. Lenny's Burger does not disappoint! I don't remember if I ordered my Garlic Mushroom Burger (hold the cheese and the mayo) medium, but it sure is. (This is a good thing). Charlie ordered The Single Burger, for people who hate their wives and wish they were single, which he deemed "Okay."

Final verdict? Charlie would choose Whataburger over Lenny's Burger, but so far, Lenny's is my favorite greasy, fast food-style burger. Keep in mind, we haven't yet reviewed more popular fast food spots like In-N-Out, or Shake Shack, so lets consider this a low bar. Regardless, I'd stop in Lenny's for a rave party any day! (No one cares about my club kid references, I know, but I need to include them in order to feel special).


Other misc. notes

Lenny's is divided into halves, and we sat on the less populated half because we are misanthropes, obviously. Halfway through our meal, a Lenny's employee separates our half of the shop from the other half by way of a white chain stretching across the room. In the end, we had to slip under the chain in order to leave. Cute!

A man entered shortly after we did and had the great courtesy to have a very loud, almost unintelligible Bluetooth headset conversation with a buddy of his (and you know he's the type of dude who calls his friends BUDDY) while he ate his burger. Nice aesthetics!

We went home and watched Scrooged, a 1988 Christmas movie starring William Murray. One of the worst movies I have ever seen. That is all.


Score Card

Restaurant Aesthetics: B

Customer Service: B

Logo Design: FUCKING F. ARE YOU KIDDING ME????!!!! (Although it does look a bit better as a neon sign).

Music Selection: Rat Pack Oldies is always an A.

Cleanliness: B-

Bathrooms: Did not go

Taste: C+

Overall: C+

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